LDS Unmarried Life Podcast Episode 11-First Post-Divorce Breakup

Julie Johnson and I talk about the first post-divorce breakup and why it’s so bad. We also explore why men don’t bring us things even when we ask. 🙂 Please subscribe and comment. I’d love to hear from you!

Junk food gets Julie and I through the first post-divorce breakup!

9 Comments

  1. John Patrick December 3, 2018 at 5:59 pm - Reply

    Now, maybe it was the junk food talking, but are you sure you want to say all guys don’t know how to date? General rule of thumb, if you are going out with someone and they aren’t picking up on the social “cues”, and that’s something important to you, then they aren’t the one for you. Even if they have great eyes.

    The question becomes, why are you dating someone who doesn’t pay attention to or understand what your needs are, guy or girl? If you are searching for happiness be honest and just say what you want need. Just a caution don’t ask question unless you are prepared to handle the answer.

    • annettetalks December 4, 2018 at 1:31 pm - Reply

      Good questions, John Patrick. As you noticed, neither of us ladies are with those two gentlemen anymore. I think we both kind of agreed that we made mistakes in our first post-divorce relationships, which is why they crashed and burned. I think getting into a relationship too quickly after divorce is a big problem, hence the podcast. 😛

      But I ask you back, do you pick up on clues from women? Like I mentioned in the podcast, I did have another guy pick up on and follow through with the cue, so I don’t think ALL men don’t know how to date. Just some.

      • Julie December 5, 2018 at 9:07 am - Reply

        And to add to Annettes comments, I wish I would have mentioned, my boyfriend was attentive and really spoiled me. So he didnt give me a red rose. It was an unmet expectation on my part that surprised me. That’s all. It was the only thing he didnt pick up on. Why I am not with him has nothing to do with the red rose. He was an amazing man and I failed to mention that on the podcast. Why we arent together is actually quite the story, it’s a very spiritual one. It was hard to let him go. It’s still hard without him in my life but Heavenly Father has other plans for the both of us. We were both intuned with the spirit to know we weren’t each others special person that was to lead to a marriage. So grateful for the learning opportunity.

        Thank you for your question. Thank you for allowing me to understand where you are coming from and learning along the way.

  2. Anonymous December 4, 2018 at 12:03 pm - Reply

    3 questions:

    Women will hint what they want guys to bring them on a first or second date. Is it appropriate for guys to do the same with women?

    “A woman wants to feel safe and secure”. Expounding on that idea, what do women look for in determining if they are “safe” with a guy? Sounds like an obvious answer but wanted to get your ideas on it.

    Women like good morning texts. Do you believe that women should respond to those good morning texts, or are replies simply not necessary. How much is too much. If I’m texting someone good morning everyday or every other day, do I come across as needy or desperate? How do I know if it is the right pace?

    • Julie December 5, 2018 at 8:54 am - Reply

      I wanted to answer some of your questions.

      #1 it should go both ways. Both parties need to do their very best to please the other and yet have realistic expectations. My guy missed the rose cue but what I wish I would have mentioned he was on top of everything else. He spoiled me in my opinion and I spoiled him. The rose was the only thing he didnt provide so I let it go with him but was brought up in the podcast as it sounded like he was a jerk. He wasnt. He wanted me to make dinner for him …that was very important to him. I hate to cook but I did it because I knew one night I had the time and supplies and it made me happy to serve him. It definately goes both ways with having realistic expectations and weighing the good over unmet expectations. The chocolate and the rose examples were unmet expectations. And unmet expectations are wishes. We wished we received those but wasnt a deal breaker. That’s why I bought my own roses because a wish depends on others.

      #2 Feeling safe for a woman? Great question and I am glad you asked. A woman wants to know she can trust a man with her physical, emotional, sexual and spiritual needs. He isnt to fix those things as that’s our job. To be able to be vulnerable in these areas and still be respected and somewhat protected. It goes deeper in my opinion and what I inspire my clients to do if they stay in their feminine role the man will naturally step up to be the protector of her heart. Feminine verses masculine roles balance each other out.

      #3 Good morning texts? If I like a guy then yes I love those good morning texts. If I do not like a man and he is texting me good morning all the time then personally I do not prefer it. It is a preference thing. If I went out on a date and had obvious chemistry then I love those texts come the morning. So in my opinion if you text a woman you have interest in and she has interest in you then keep up the texts. If it’s a one way connection, then no texts. You will know it’s one way because she won’t respond to you within the day.

      I like your questions. Maybe Annette has more thoughts.

    • Ryan December 6, 2018 at 9:18 pm - Reply

      Women like good morning texts, unless they are not a morning person like so many of us guys.. Sorry.. just couldn’t resist. But cheerful morning people give me a headache. Just like the sunrise! 😛

      • annettetalks December 7, 2018 at 5:14 am - Reply

        Hi Ryan, I am totally not a morning person, but I like a morning text if It’s funny and not something cheesy like ‘good morning sunshine!’

  3. Julie December 5, 2018 at 9:20 am - Reply

    And to add to Annettes comments, I wish I would have mentioned, my boyfriend was attentive and really spoiled me. So he didnt give me a red rose. It was an unmet expectation on my part that surprised me. That’s all. It was the only thing he didnt pick up on. Why I am not with him has nothing to do with the red rose. He was an amazing man and I failed to mention that on the podcast. Why we arent together is actually quite the story, it’s a very spiritual one. It was hard to let him go. It’s still hard without him in my life but Heavenly Father has other plans for the both of us. We were both intuned with the spirit to know we weren’t each others special person that was to lead to a marriage. So grateful for the learning opportunity.

    Thank you for your question. Thank you for allowing me to understand where you are coming from and learning along the way.

  4. Michael Swift December 7, 2018 at 9:01 am - Reply

    I was dating someone locally who broke up with me when she went exclusive with an out of state guy. I wanted to avoid long distance, but because of the limited dating pool it’s almost unavoidable. Now I’m dating someone out of state as well. The good thing about long distance is you get to know a person pretty well before meeting for the first time… which we just did this past weekend.

    I wouldn’t say men and women want different things, they both date to find love and happiness. Their approach may be different, but the end game is basically the same for both. Dating is emotionally risky, but the payoff is so potentially big that it’s worth the occasional bruising.

    About the guys who missed the dark chocolate and red rose directives. That goes beyond dating. It’s a matter of being attentive, making mental notes and being thoughtful. It applies to family, friends and work.

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